The Biggest Liars in Sports
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SPORTS
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The Mitchell Report teaches us that the only thing that enhances performance more than steroids is bullshit. Here are the 10 people most full of it.
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 10. NICK SABAN
The Truth: The Miami Dolphins' coach said last year publicly and emphatically, "I'm not going to be the Alabama coach."
The Real Truth: He is the Alabama coach. Not that we blame him for bailing on the 'Phins. But considering Saban compared Bama's loss against Louisiana-Monroe to 9/11 and Pearl Harbor, what would he compare Miami's 1–13 season to? The Holocaust? Darfur? Watching Pearl Harbor?
9. ROSIE RUIZ
The Truth: How did she look so refreshed after winning the 1980 Boston Marathon? She claims it was because she "got up with a lot of energy [that] morning."
The Real Truth: You'd look pretty refreshed, too, if all you did was roll out of bed and run the last mile of a marathon ahead of every other female entrant. While she's never admitted to cheating, the Boston Marathon stripped her title away and banned her from ever competing again.
8. BOBBY PETRINO
The Truth: The former Falcons coach printed up T-shirts that read "Finish" to inspire his players, and assured owner Arthur Blank that he wanted to return as head coach next year.
The Real Truth: Less than 24 hours after giving his word to Blank, he slithered off to Arkansas for his introduction as the Razorbacks' new head coach. His players call the man who's had five jobs in the last seven years a "coward." The Korean guy who owns the deli on our corner just calls him lazy.
7. RAFAEL PALMEIRO
The Truth: His finger shook with rage to make one point clear to Congress: "I have never used steroids. Period."
The Real Truth: Did he say "period?" He meant semicolon. As in, "I have never used steroids, semicolon, except those times when I was injecting Stanozolol into my anus cheeks. The rest of the time, I was NOT using steroids. Period."
6. MICHAEL VICK
The Truth: Vick said he didn't know about any dogfighting on his Virginia property. Further, he rarely even visited the property. In fact, there is no property.
The Real Truth: Speaking of colons, Mike's is in some serious jeopardy the moment his cell mate gets a semi.
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