Stop Playa (and Coach) Hatin'
Posted 3/27/2008 11:56:00 AM by Paul
Filed under: Ncaa tournament, Two and a Half Men

You may hate these guys, but they've always spoken highly of you.

 

The more sports fans see a particular player, team, or coach, the more they despise them. Those are the rules of irrational fandom and that’s how we likes it. So, have the first two rounds unearthed any real villains? Or are these just harmless flavors of the month simply to be swallowed up next year by the returning gaggle of Duke haters? Let’s sort out the madness. (Also, Duke sucks.)

 

Stephen Curry, G, Davidson

Why you probably already hate him: We missed most of Davidson’s first two games in the tournament thanks to CBS’ incessant cut-aways to Curry’s parents in the stands. We get it, his dad was an NBA gunner and his mom’s hot. Enough already. (At least for dad. You can give mom her own halftime show.)

Why you should root for him: Just like the resurrection of John Cryer's career, this is all CBS’ fault. Regardless of his family tree, Curry can flat-out shoot. Thirty points in the second half in round one. Twenty-five points in the second half of Davidson’s upset over Georgetown in round two.

Verdict: Enjoy the shooting display while you can; everyone knows the NBA outlawed mid-range jumpers in the late-‘80s.

 

tournamentParticipants_TylerHansbrough_blog.jpgTyler Hansbrough, F, North Carolina

Why you probably already hate him: He’s a winner, and everyone hates winners. He was on the cover of every single March Madness magazine preview released this year. Also, he’s white.

Why you should root for him: Look at his numbers: 23 (PPG) and 10 (RPG) during a high-profile season. Factor in his conference schedule in the ACC and the national attention every one of UNC's big games garners, and this guy has proven consistently that he deserves almost half of his press coverage.

Verdict: Duke sucks.

 

Bill Self, coach, Kansas

Why you probably already hate him: He’s a loser, and everyone hates losers. Each year, he heads into the tourney with an incredibly stacked team only to fail, time and again. He’s ruined more brackets than an ESPN.com Insider.

Why you should root for him: As many chances as he’s had, it’s always satisfying to watch someone finally break through in the world of sports. It’s during the ensuing off-season when the figure transforms from long-suffering to insufferable that we lose interest.

Verdict: Sorry, Bill, you’ve got only your Self to blame. 

 

tournamentParticipants_kevinLove_blog.jpgKevin Love, F, UCLA

Why you probably already hate him: Besides facial hair that makes him look like the lyricist behind “D*ck in a Box,” he said he wants to emulate Matt Leinart’s reign over the LA college scene. Let’s hope he doesn’t emulate Leinart’s reign of terror over the LA maternity ward scene, too.

Why you should root for him: He’s one of the most fundamentally sound big men in the college game who can make up for a lack of athleticism with footwork and a pure shot. His outlet passes are so precise, they could ignite successful fast breaks for a wheelchair basketball team.

Verdict: As long as he doesn’t get stuck with nicknames like “Man” or “Butt,” we should all be enjoying his passing skills for the next decade.

 

Twin brothers Brook and Robin Lopez, F, Stanford

Why you probably already hate him: Their last name sounds all foreign, they talk an immense amount of trash on the court, and they’re giving DeVito and Schwarzenegger a bad name.

Why you should root for them: Basketball, on both the college and pro levels, has a severe dearth of big men. Brook’s full complement of back-to-the-basket moves combined with Robin’s floppy hair and flopping defense would help make size matter again in the world of basketball.

Verdict: The more big men to hate, the merrier. Isn’t that what basketball is all about?

 

tournamentParticipants_brucePearl_blog.jpgBruce Pearl, coach, Tennessee

Why you probably already hate him: He made us look at him shirtless, slathered in orange body paint last season. If perky coeds want to try that out, fine, but not an aging coach with the features of a deflated Good Year Blimp. And certainly not in HD.

Why you should root for him: Sorry, we lost the ability to think clearly when we YouTubed the shirtless clip for research.

Verdict: Damn it, we’ve gone blind now, too.

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[9/6/2008]