My First Time: K.D. Aubert

First Firing
I was fired from Carl’s Jr. for eating the fried zucchini bites before taking them to customers. The manager called me in and said the customers had been complaining. I had just eaten some, so I’m sitting there with a mouth full of crumbs.

First Broken Heart
I found out my high school boyfriend was cheating on me with one of my friends, so I confronted him in front of everyone in the school hallway. I became the girl you don’t mess around with.

First Movie She Loved
A Christmas Story. I’ve always wanted to touch my tongue to a pole to see if it really stuck.

First Big Fall
I went skiing for the first time and wore jeans, a sweater, makeup, and big hoop earrings—not really ski attire. I went right to the ski lift thinking I could ride up and just ride it back down. I got to the top and they made me get off. I didn’t know what two black diamonds were. I thought it might have meant “fabulous.” Next thing I know, I’m rolling down the mountain like a donut, skis are flying everywhere, earrings are scratching my face.

First Major Embarrassment
I was in the car with a bunch of people, and I was wearing my first weave. When I rolled up the window, I didn’t realize my hair was stuck in it, and when I turned my head, my weave stayed in the window and was no longer attached to my head. My friend was laughing so hard she had to pull over.