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Everyone ready for another epic run by one of the Tournament’s most storied superpowers? No, not Duke...not Kansas...not UCLA—Billy Packer. Over the past century or two, B.P. has dominated the basketball airwaves, broadcasting from every Final Four since 1974. He was there when Bobby Knight and Indiana completed the last undefeated season in college basketball history; he was there when NC State won its famous upset championship on a slam-dunk; and he was there for Duke’s and Florida’s back-to-back championship runs. More importantly, though, he’s had something legendarily insensitive to say in every one of those years. Our two most recent favorites...
To a female ticket-taker in 2001 at Duke’s Cameron Indoor Stadium: "Since when do we let women control who gets into a men's basketball game? Why don't you go find a women's game to let people into?"
Referring to Allen Iverson (who’s an African American!) in 1996: “He’s a tough monkey.”
In honor of Billy Packer, we're keeping a running tab of his more interesting (read: horribly offensive) comments during the tournament. After all, anyone in this day and age with the guts/obliviousness to use a homosexual slur in describing a colleague’s work ethic, as Packer did in an interview with Charlie Rose last year, surely has cheeks stored with curious quotes ready to spew at any moment. Stay tuned.
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Photo from WithLeather.com
Yes, Dick, the UCLA dance team is hot. And Wisconsin fans are fat and pasty. Anything else worth pointing out, Captain Obvious? Head in the game!
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Former Gonzaga star Adam Morrison got famous two years ago for bawling like a winner on American Idol. And some sort of awesome jumpshot and scoring ability. Anyway, he hasn’t exactly set the world on fire as an NBA player for the Charlotte Bobcats so he's got plenty of time to watch his Zags lose again in the tournament.
While he’s managed to get his emotions under control, it seems as though grooming is another thing entirely…
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 Things don't look pretty for these four schools, when their NCAA teams influence the in-coming freshman.
A Virginia Tech researcher has set out to prove with statistics what many admissions deans have known for decades: the better a college’s marquee sports team does in a given year, the more people apply to that school the following year. For instance, just making it to the NCAA Tournament for the first time can bump application rates one percent. The Sweet 16 can garner a school a three percent boost; the NCAA Champion averages a seven to eight percent increase the next year in applications.
That got us thinking: will a Tournament team’s performance inspire a certain type of student to apply to their school? If the answer is yes, here’s what kind of high school grads these four schools can expect to get:
Duke
How about that guy who sits at the back of the lecture hall every week, eating his fancy salad, doing the crossword puzzle, never really interested or paying attention. He relies on his IQ to breeze through the lectures and quizzes, never really bothering to study or get to know anybody. In fact, he seems downright douche-y. But come exam time, he stumbles into the final five minutes late with red Adderall eyes and a Coke (he also has to borrow a pencil from his classmate), tries to worm some answers out of the professor, stays until the exam is ripped out of his hand and barely gets by with a C minus.
Gonzaga
Expect the typical cute girl-next-door. She’s not really your type but she’s got some impressive sports knowledge and seems smart and dedicated. And for a few classes, she’ll seem really cool—until she starts answering every question (usually incorrectly).
North Carolina
Welcome, your typical crappy roommate. This is the kind of guy who walks in on move-in day, throws his bag down on the bed by the window and tells you to call him The Hammer. He goes to class sometimes—when he’s not too tired from staying up all night playing Madden ’01 and screaming obscenities at the TV screen, or lifting weights, or hanging with those same sorority girls who blew you off last weekend. The Hammer even passes most of his classes…and then becomes president of his fraternity…and then gets an incredible job at Goldman Sachs because everybody loves his personality—and his awesome fake tan.
Mississippi Valley State
If anyone’s heading to the Mississippi Delta and the miniscule town of Itta Bena for college just because they made it to the tournament one year, they’re probably playing for the basketball team. Otherwise, well, we just don’t know.
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The NCAA has this annoying rule that prohibits news channels from showing game highlights until all the games of that day are over. Why? Because the NCAA is a giant control freak. So in the meantime, a local NBC station in Raleigh, NC put on a puppet show (!!!) of how the games went. And, honestly, these might be more entertaining than the actual games.
Check out the action as they recreate Duke vs. Belmont and Mount St. Mary's vs. UNC. (Just click on the video tab.) Oh, and please note: This blog post does not mean we endorse playing with dolls. In fact, we typically strongly advise against it.
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