The 7 Greatest Faceless Announcers in Video Games

With game companies scrambling to secure rights of top flight celebrities (and John Madden) for voiceovers, cameo appearances, and other marginally related uses of their fame, some of the most memorable contributions in gamedom have come from the anonymous dudes with vocal 'tudes. We've sifted through all the mouth pollution and pulled out our favorites:

Halo series

Memorable Lines:
Double Kill. Overkill. Killtrocity. Killimanjaro. Killionaire!


Mortal Kombat series

Memorable Lines:
Finish Him/Her! Fatality!


NBA Jam


Memorable Lines: Whoaaaaaaa KA-boom! Rejected! From downtown! Nails it! He's on fire!


And, our personal favorite: GUGLIOTTA!
 


Gauntlet

Memorable Lines: Treasure, 100 points. Remember, don't shoot the food. Save keys to open doors. Save potions for later use. Warrior, your life force is running out. Wizard needs food badly. That was a heroic effort.


Soul Calibur series

Memorable Lines: "Transcending history and the world, a tale of souls and swords eternally retold."


"A formidable opponent awaits. K.O. Victory belongs to the last one standing. You win!"


720 Degrees

Memorable Line: Skate or Die!



Unreal Tournament series

Memorable Lines: Headshot!



Mega Kill! Ultra Kill! Monster Kill! Rrrrrampage. Massacre.


Holy Shit!


Honorable Mentions

NFL Blitz

Memorable Lines: Spins! Hurdles! Touchdoowwwn!



EA Sports guy

Memorable Line:
EA Sports, it's in the game.


See More Here >>


The 7 Best Olympics-Themed Video Games Ever

Every four years, game developers flood the market with half-baked simulations of the Summer Games. Vault over those aborted turds with our guide to these passable permutations.


Pogo Stick Olympics (1988)
Platform: Commodore 64
We love this game because it brings us back to the hot summer days when we played "Pop the Balloons With a Hat" and "Jump Over Hurdles Without Breaking Your Leg."


Check out the whole list!

See More Here >>


Get to Know... The Greatest Rock Band Band in the World: The Fiff Purriod Boyz

Just beat "Flirtin' With Disaster" on Expert, eh? Congratulations—enjoy your reward of 35 smelly fans. A pittance, I say. Now meet the guys with the most Rock Band fans in the whole friggin' world (over 630 million!), The Fiff Purriod Boyz. They just finished up high school, but if there were Ph.D's for pulloffs, they'd get 'em. (P.S. - If you want a thong with their faces on it—and who doesn't?—go here.) Now hit the jump page for the interview.

FPB_blog.jpg
Name:
Home:
Age:
Plays:
Tyler Schroeder
Richmond, Indiana
19-years-old
Bass and guitar
Brandon Brookbank
Richmond, Indiana
19-years-old
Usually plays drums, sometimes bass and guitar
Mitch Widau
Richmond, Indiana
19-years-old
Bass and guitar










See More Here >>


The 14 Greatest Video Game Toilets of All Time

We came. We saw. We crapped.


14. Prey (2K Games; 2006)
Cleanliness factor: 0/10
Realism factor: 10/10
This toilet looks like Kirstie Alley and Bruce "Hollywood Squares" Vilanch were trying to spell out the words STAR JONES on it with their rectums after a midnight Arby´s run. Forget trying to clean this place: Just scatter some jet fuel, light a match, and move to the next-closest state.




See More Here >>


The 12 Greatest Video Games to Play on the Toilet

Forget bran flakes and that old copy of People magazine. Bust out these 12 portable games when you need to make a long, smooth move.

toiletGames_TekkenDarkResurrection.jpg12. Tekken: Dark Resurrection (PSP)
The best portable fighting game ever makes for quick, satisfying matches. And it makes for quick, satisfying dumps. Who knew that kicking a big panda around for 30 seconds could be more effective than a bushel of cabbage and a handful of Crap-Be-Gone pills?
Recommended Dose: Six or seven matches will be more than enough to get your Hershey's Kisses queued up and ready for departure.

Check out the rest of the list...

See More Here >>



Girl Videos Maxim
Subscribe to Maxim | Renew Subscriptions | Gift Subscriptions | Order Back Issues | Shop | Site Map | Parties | Contests | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Email Us | Newsletter Signup | Customer Service | Get Our Newsletter | Maxim Radio | Maxim Prime | RSS Feeds | Maxim Mobile | Digital Advertising | Magazine Advertising
Girl Videos Maxim
Other Sites: Stuffmagazine.com | Blender.com | Maxim Applications: Widgets
Girl Videos Maxim
Maxim Digital. MAXIM®, MAXIM ONLINE®, maxim.COM®, and the "M" Logo® are registered trademarks owned by Alpha Media Group Inc. MAXIM TO GO is a trademark owned by Alpha Media Group Inc. [WEB2]
[11/21/2008]