10. Chicago
The Land of Ditka can thank her college undergrads (141,688 locals are enrolled in four-year programs) and respectable booze-palace density (one for every 3,588 residents) for helping her make this list. But the warning is clear, Chicago: Party or perish.



9. Dallas
Texans of Fort Worth, Austin, El Paso, San Antonio, and Houston: Big D outparties you. The city's median age is a list low: 32.63 years. And the only thing you can't get away with there is drinking in a bar 24 hours a day. But that's why they sell beer in cans.




8. New Orleans
Much is made about what's wrong with the Big Easy. Let us tell you what's right: There's a bar for every 995 residents—six times as many watering holes per capita as Miami. At home, locals consume 10.65 cases of beer annually—the highest rate on this list.





7. Detroit
Bless you, Detroit. Bless your downtown casinos. Bless your unwavering commitment to ordinance-free Sunday drinking. Bless your 1.06 women to every mustache-sporting Detroit man. Like your favorite son, Kid Rock, long may you party.




6. Tampa
It's four o'clock: Do you know where your dad is? He's probably at one of the city's 49 strip clubs. That's more booby-barns than you'll find in Vegas. Yes, the city's median age is a list-high 40.45 years, but citizens down 5.41 cases of beer at home annually.